Sunday, November 18, 2012

Too much!

There's way too much that I could talk about... I'll just start with the fact that (1.) school has been crazy as always, so nothing new there. I am obsessed with psychology. It's a problem. I just ordered this book "Cupid's Code", and it's fantastic. Oh man.

2. I need to post my recent buys soon. :E Lot's of cool stuff!

3. I was thinking about cutting my hair again, but then I'm like no, but yes! But no. Yes! NO. So... no.

4. As life's been crazy and lots of stuff's been going on, God still continues to teach me so much. He's taught me that loving Him honestly is not just humbling yourself but approaching Him with a sincere need for Him and His holy spirit. It's taking a look at your day and going, "Man, this is why I need God, and this is how much I need Him." It's crazy awesome, and I love it so much.

5. Naturally, I'm learning things about myself. Lately, I've become more aware of situations where I take a lot of social interactions really personally. I went to broomball last weekend, I think, with my youth group. Gradually, I started to feel like I didn't belong, like people didn't really care if I was there, yada yada yada, the usual lies my mind tempts me with. And it didn't really hit me too bad until I literally got hit -- bad. So I limped my bruised self off of the ice rink and sat there, watched everyone else play. Initially, I was going to wait for the pain to go away and then get back in, but I felt happier outside than inside, so that's where I was the rest of the time, sleeping in the bleachers.
That's kind of a weird thing to do I'm sure, and the same overall situation happened earlier in October, too. So, of course, I looked into it. Prayed about it. Researched it. Turns out that I either have a bunch of confidence and feel like I'm at the top, or all of a sudden I have zero confidence and feel like I'm at the bottom. While praying, I asked why, also apologizing at the same time because I felt like what God told me initially wasn't enough. He used that to show me how I feel like I need to have control, security, and self-awareness. Anyways, long story short, I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert... "enjoys understanding details, interested in self-knowledge and self-understanding, tends to keep emotions private, quiet and reserved in large groups or around unfamiliar people, more sociable and gregarious around people they know well..." And I was like man, it always boils down to control, doesn't it?!

It's okay! I accept that, I think it's awesome, and God helps me do that.

6. Gavin, my dear, has a blog. Go and check it out. (:

I very much enjoy taking pictures of him. Especially with this new style he's got going on. (; 
Speaking of which, Gavin will be getting his wisdom teeth taken out on Monday, and I'm going to go and pamper and care for him aaaallll daaayyy looonngg. :E <3 It's going to be incredible. Ice cream, milkshakes, movies, reading, AHH, and taking care of my love.


I'm going to cry... My grandmother from my mom's side wrote a wonderful journal about her life for me, which I will be very excited to read when I'm of age. (: I want to do the same for Lexie, but the journal would not be about my life, but instead, it would be about life lessons that I have learned and want to share with her. I am determined in being a role model in her life, someone she can always count on, look up to, talk to, cry with, and trust, while showing the majesty and love of the King.

8. I'm producing a mind-blowing, awesome, crazy-stressful short film for SXSW and DIFF. WISH ME LUCK. PRAY FOR ME. DO THE RAIN DANCE FOR ME. WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT. Currently I'm worried about getting actors and actresses, but ndjkhfukla! God provides!

9. Good movies I've seen lately: Drive, Fight Club, and Raising Arizona. Drive was awesome for a lot a lot a lot of reasons. Fight Club was so messed up and crazy but awesome so I'm not sure if I would ever watch it again but I still loved it at the same time, and that's what makes it so incredible to me. It moved me. Raising Arizona was not the funniest movie I've seen, not at all, but it was still hilarious, classic, and awesome. I'm hoping to get my hands on Black Swan soon, but we'll see.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. See, everything works out when you number things. I'm telling you, it's true.


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